kids

wah really feel like a kid again..past few days havent been studying..argh jus playing with my neighbours..in a way it makes me feel younger but they can be quite irritating and persistent in their many wants...feels strange also..a big kid playing with primary school children like i hav nothing to do..but i do hav lots to study ahhh what am i doing..have to study!! think the next few days i'll be running off to the library to study...or rather try to study..really hav no urge to study, only started the day after the concert which was..7june..gosh 3 weeks left how time flies..really dunno why im like that..why i dont study properly before each exam, why i hav to play away my days and freak out when nearing the exams..what is wrong with me..mum chases me to study, i know i should cuz i definitely need to catch up on work and here i am blogging abt why im not studying..argh every night i promise myself, the next day will be spent studying but it is not..how i lie to myself..but then again, i feel that this holiday is one of THE most meaningful holidays i;ve had..managed to swim with my younger bro, played badminton with him, almost played ping pong, and watched movies with mum and him..i actually remember what i did compared to other hols where i jus stone, watch tv and in the end what i did didnt mean a thing cuz it was all jus me me and me..sometimes wished i'd done these kinda stuff with my older bro,i mean we're 3 yrs apart, much closer in age then my younger bro and yet when i was younger and when he was more free, we spent time alone by ourselves, not caring what happened to the other...even now, dont really know whats going on in his life, he refuses to open up as usual..and sometimes wonder if he feels left out of the family cuz he;s always in the army..sigh...really wish we were closer, always hear from friends that their bros of the same age treat them well and are close to them...well, i cant say he doesnt treat me well, its jus that theres this like barrier btw us or smth and we cant talk to each other abt stuff..oh man..problems to solve..dont really keep in contact with my sec sch friends anymore and fee; so sad..i shld give them a call sometime and see how they r doing..jus wonder if they hav moved on or hav no time to talk to me..speaking of old friends, found out smth abt two of them and its really shocking..found out abt it a month ago and yet it still lingers in the back of mind, haunting me. it is disturbing that another friend actually managed me to convince me that it was ok to do it and sometimes i wonder if i'll actually do it..but i hav realised that it is wrong and i know i wont but what if jus what if one day it jus happens? then what...
wow feels good to let all this out..wonder if anyone will read it..oh came up with sweet (and a little corny) quote :if i could give u a hug for each time u made me laugh, i'll be holding u in my arms till the end of time. (kinda copied from a previous one) oh and another erm thingy: stars sparkling in the midnight skies, just like your incandescent glittering eyes. haha was feeling a little poetic? the other day.haha i like stars!! yay! k i'd better go now..bye bye bloggie! hope i can get that yucky dream outta my head, keeps giving me goosepimples for some reason..